A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Take part of what?

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Get in the car.

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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A fish walks into a bar

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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