When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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Japan

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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