friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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Whats 1+1? window!

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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Connor is homosexuaI

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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