Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man? Black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

thumb_up thumb_down +18

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

thumb_up thumb_down -169

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops