A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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joke under this line wins _________________________

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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