Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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Jersey Shore.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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