What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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beiber i straight

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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