A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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stuarts mum

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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