"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'm a Schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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conrad profit

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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69 :)

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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