What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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