What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

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The economy.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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