One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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