what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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drew edminstin is a rat

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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Nick Cannon

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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