Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

Joesph Triphook.

Why did paul macartny have plastic surgery? Because he wasn't happy with the looked

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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