Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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