Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than the Holicost? Bitting into an apple and finding a worm

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

jwe

thumb_up thumb_down -11

(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops