What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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