Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

A quadrapeldgic walks no where

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

hi

what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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