Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops