What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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42

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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