why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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