What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Obamacare

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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david weres the slug gone

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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