Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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