Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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