A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

anus

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

why did the kid die? his mom shot him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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