Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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pedophile

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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A man walks around a bar.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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