your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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What happens when you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops