what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

Women's Rights..

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

irish wristwatch JLR

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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