Ask me if im a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops