Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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knock knock who's there? hope

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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woman's rights

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robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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