How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... 7

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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4

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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I am a nigger.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops