person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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