Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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