What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?!"

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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