How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven has an extra penis.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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