What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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a guy had 6 fingers& every1 called him john.y????? bcaz his name was john

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Miscarriages.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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