Womens rights

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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