roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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