Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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PICKLES

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hi charles lattuca III

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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