Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's 9+10? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops