Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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gingers

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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run farther?

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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hi michael

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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