Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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