An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

Why couldn't the Mexican get a proper job? Because of his low socio-economic background and lack of education.

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

Why did the catholic priest get sent to jail? Tax evasion.

Barbara Streisand

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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