What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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