What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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