Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

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here is a good joke... your moms a bitch END OF STORY!

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops