What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

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Video Games

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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What comes after 69? 70

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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