What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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