Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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