A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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I have a horse.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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japan4.

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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