What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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nipple

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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test

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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